i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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