We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
