Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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