I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
