I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize