Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
