What a fucking waste of an outfit
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
