don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
