smell my finger.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
