TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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