she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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