do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
