please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
