turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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