i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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