I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
