oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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