But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
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Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
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I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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