The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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