Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
