the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I puked a lego.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
