I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
