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I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
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he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
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I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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