i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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