i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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