you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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