Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
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We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
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I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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