Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I will pee on everything he values.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I currently don't understand fingers.
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