After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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