yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I have post one night stand depression
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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