A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
