I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
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Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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