You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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