i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
