what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
