For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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