When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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