he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
