we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
