Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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