Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
