Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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