just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
