If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize