I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
