everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
