Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i am craving dick and cupcakes
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
