I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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