I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize