Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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