Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
