these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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