i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
