idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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