I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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