This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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