Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
only you would photoshop your dick
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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