I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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