none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
