I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
