my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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