Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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