Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
