I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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