I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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