You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Are we still banned from the library?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
