he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
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Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
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Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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